Well, I’m gathering this is it. This is the end of my uni course and after this I’ll no longer be a student which is weird to say. This year has some what been a learning curve and I guess there are still things I need to try and resolve. For one, my lack of confidence gets the better of me. When I feel I can’t do something, I seem to make it final in my head that I’m no good at it and I never will. That alone stops my progress in my work and general self development. There’s been times where I’ve been consumed by anxiety, but I’ve had to put that aside and learn to just get on with it. I need to have more faith in myself. Once I managed to focus, I feel I managed to get my head down and work my way through. Through the past three years I haven’t found a specialism and instead I’ve always worked on the jobs that other people don’t do. In the end I became a generalist even if it wasn’t by choice. This year I thought I wanted to become a matte artist but I’m not so sure anymore. I think what put me off is the constant use of photos but I feel I need to experiment with actually painting over the photos. Again, it’s because of lack of experience that I’ve not narrowed down on a specialism but also why I lack confidence. That’s something I need to build up by honing my skills and deciding what I want to do and what I need to do to get to that point.
One benefit of being a generalist is that I’m glad I’ve managed to fill in my folders. I may not be strong at animating, but I at least managed to fill my artist and technical folders. This year has made me learn more about rigging and I’ve also learnt to composite for the first time, particularly in Nuke. As I’ve mentioned before, it has also been my first time doing matte paintings and projecting. I’ve learnt a lot of skills this year that I can bring with me out of university. I think this has helped me to understand the animation pipeline a lot better. When speaking to Amir for IPP, he suggested I look at a producer/director role due to my experiences. That’s something I can consider since I am quite keen on being organised and I have been a temporary director when Deon’s needed a break. Another area I want to look into is concept art and I have already spoken to a few so I know that concept alone will not get me a job. Again, my experiences should help me to maybe offer more in these particular job roles.
This film has not been an easy project, particularly as there have been family problems within the group (much like there was last year) and there have been times where there’s been a lot of conflict where people have had to walk away. The thing is, everyone comes back and continues working even if it’s not been easy. Although we’re friends, we’re also colleagues so we have to accept our responsibilities. I’m not sure if I can say I’ve enjoyed every part of it, it certainly has been difficult but we have had our fun moments and managed to laugh even during tough times. I think with this film, we’ve managed to show we’re capable and although there are mistakes that we wish we could correct, I still think the film is quite impressive. We need to remember, we did this as students and we’re still learning. I’m hoping to set myself a small project between now and degree show where I improve my concept art since it’s the quickest and most accessible right now. After wards I want to try different areas to see what I enjoy most and as I mentioned, to hone my skills. I hope you enjoy our film, we’ve put our blood and sweat into this! (not literally but we did sacrifice sleep and laptops).